As I marvel at the speed at which time flies, I frequently have thoughts about a future career path for myself. Multiple visions encompassing creativity, writing, and children often swim through my head. At some point, unless I take the path of homeschooling, I will be alone between the hours of 9am and 3pm. I will no longer have a child to breastfeed, to change their diaper, or to feed lunch (and morning and afternoon snack). Still, I am unable to fully embrace the thought of my babies outgrowing me in some fashion. But I know that they unavoidably will.
Considering how fast the last 6 years flew, the next 6 years are going to pass in a blink of an eye. I plan to enjoy every moment and relish the random snuggles under my arm, the curious questions, and imaginative yet humourous responses to the everyday. But I know time will creep up on me. The one thing I fear is that as I say my final goodbye to the last child as they embark on their first day of school full-time, I will drive home in an empty van, come home and look in the mirror and not know a thing about the person in the reflection.
As other stay-at-home parents can probably attest to, it is easy to identify yourself completely in the role of mom/dad. It is easy to define yourself in terms of your children – how you care for them, what you do with them, and most dangerously, in who they themselves become. It’s easy to fully cocoon yourself in the trenches of parenting where you isolate yourself from world events, your community, and maybe even your spouse. With 4 plus children, I find myself so engrossed in their development and ensuring that time is spent with them individually to nurture their unique qualities, I often forget that I too still need to nurture myself and realize that I am also in a form of personal development. Giving myself time to write, read, explore, create and even to think outside of my comfort zone which includes anything related to my children, allows me to remember my life before kids and also helps me to envision the life I want to lead as the kids get older.
In 6 years (when #5 will be entering full-time school), I hope to be engaged in some creative endeavour that still allows me to be fully accessible to my children at home and allow me to continue to be actively involved in their schools. This creative pursuit will naturally (fingers crossed) lead to career that will contain characteristics that reside in the centre of this venn diagram:
venn diagram courtesy of whatconsumesme.com
In the meantime, I think doing the following may help keep me from losing myself in complete identification with motherhood:
- Blog daily.
- Write daily in my journal.
- Do something creative weekly.
- Follow Twyla Tharp’s creative exercises outlined in “The Creative Habit”
- Share the products of my creativity with others who have the same passions.
- Be open to opportunities for creative expression.
- Observe and document the everyday for constant inspiration.
Don’t get me wrong. I plan to enjoy every moment that my babies still need me and will make time for Ever-Patient. I am just making more of a commitment to myself because as Ever-Patient always says, “A happy mama means a happy household.”
Where do you fall on the above diagram?
