Just to give you a glimpse of my neurotic self-conscious and indecisive tendencies, I will recount my reasoning and eventual surrender to the blog world (although the feelings of angst and anxieties can’t be properly conveyed through cyberspace).
About a year ago, after one of my daily ramblings and observations, my husband turns to me and says, “You should blog. I mean you REALLY need to blog.” Of course, I am immediately suspicious. Does he say this because he is finally sick of my random musings of 14 years and would rather I place my thoughts anywhere but in his ever-patient ears? Or does he think in lieu of expensive therapy sessions I should find some cathartic release in exposing my innermost thoughts on the most public of domains? (I’m sure at this point you understand what I mean by “neurotic tendencies.”)
Of course, none of these questions are posed out loud. But my husband, who will be frequently referred to as the “Ever-Patient” or the “Nurturing One,” is closely eyeing my pained expression and can already hear the gears in my mind turning (as only his ears can hear), at which point he says, “You need to blog because you have a lot to say that people would love to read about.”
So my blogging journey begins soon after this conversation, albeit one-sided, with Ever-Patient. It basically took an entire year to begin to blog. It took one year to take the leap. Oh, the should I’s and shouldn’t I’s that paralyzed me! But for every pessimistic and defeatist statement on my “con” side of my “To start a blog or not start a blog” list, the Ever-Patient Optimist (long-form name), gave me a “pro” statement. The gist of our conversation:
Me: I can’t have our lives on public display. I’m very private.
EPO: This from a woman who has scrapbook layouts all over the internet with photos of our children and details of our everyday lives plastered all over them. Remember, you don’t have to blog EVERYTHING.
Me: I have nothing interesting to say.
EPO: We have had 4 children before you turned 30. We have led the most unconventional life. Have you read your journal? There’s some pretty deep shit in there.
Me: Ok. Maybe it’s interesting to us. But who cares about what I have to say? There’s enough blogs out there. Does the world really need another blog?
EPO: This is about you and no one else. You may even find it therapeutic…
I knew it. A back alley way to tell me I am in serious need of professional help. Anyway, the conversation went back and forth until I finally agreed that it was a good idea.
Anxiety? Check. Now comes the angst. What do I call this blog? This online, public documentation of my life, my opinions, and overall impressions of the world. It has to be reflective of who I am yet revolutionary and ground-breaking…Ok Miss Delusional. Rewind. Since when are you evenly remotely revolutionary and ground-breaking? A) You have JUST jumped on the blogging bandwagon and it’s been around for what 10 years? B) Anything in the realm of personal risk-taking scares the bejeezus out of you. After a long list of possible names, which I emailed Ever-Patient for a thorough review, we decided on the above because I tend to refer to the kiddies’ doings as such and my life is chock full of them (by which I mean kids AND tomfoolery and shenanigans). And I think I was British in a former life. Then another debate ensued over the web address…apparently “Rozanne Dioso-Lopez” is too complicated. The story of my life. “Dioso” is on the cutting room floor along with a piece of my identity all for the sake of a simpler site name. (Yes, expect some of the melodramatic from time to time here).
So finally here we are. My first post. Here is what to expect from this blog: things I love, things that annoy me, grammatical errors, daily observations on my experiences as a mother of 4 girls, occasional four-letter words, things I create (which depending on available spare time-sigh-will be posted on an irregular basis), things that make me piss-in-my-pants laugh, things that I remember, run-on sentences, things I learn, mistakes I make, guilty confessions, my mommy adventures, dual personalities, and the oh so random…
Because really, this is my story.
(I apologize in advance for offending you and providing many-a-giggle at my family’s expense.)