Most days there is a constant inner dialogue running in my head. I find that most of these mental conversations consist of questions – some rhetorical, some hypothetical – that are among both the trivial and profound. Here is a brief glimpse into my murky grey matter.
- What day is it today? It definitely feels like a Tuesday.
- Am I spending enough time individually with the kids, with Ever-Patient, and myself?
- Can I just get 5 minutes of absolute quiet? How about 2 minutes? I’ll take 30 seconds just so I can take a few deep breaths.
- Should I answer the phone today?
- Do I get angry or let it go? (This is a recurring one throughout the day.)
- What kind of world will my children live in?
- Where is my other shoe? (After awhile, this is actually asked aloud with offers of a reward to whomever can find it. The cheeky one will then grab the one that has been found and wave it around victoriously.)
- What is on the agenda tomorrow? (Usually asked as I lay in bed right before I fall asleep.)
- When can I finally break out the flip-flops?!?
- Do I need to wear lipstick? (Ever-Patient and the kids say no.)
- Do I spend enough time with my grandfather?
- Am I enjoying my children enough?
- If I die tomorrow, have I said everything that I needed to say and lived every moment the way I wanted?
- Is there any better feeling than knowing your children are safe, happy, and so loved?
- Do I live too much in the past or the future?
- Where does #3 get her sparkle from? (Still can’t figure out where she gets her penchant for the performing arts from.)
- Why can’t broccoli taste like chocolate croissants?
- Do I thank my children enough? (Thank them for the way they ground me and remind me of what I truly value.)
- Am I really happy or just delirious because of extreme exhaustion?
- Do I take away the trip to the Science Centre because the kids are fighting for the third time in less than an hour or do I give them one more chance to make-up? (We eventually gave them one more chance in which #2 and #3 came down the stairs hand in hand, and as if previously rehearsed, they turned to face us and embraced stating they were best friends once more.)
- Does Ever-Patient really not see the pair of dirty socks beside the bed?
- Do I make enough effort to spend time and get to know my younger brothers?
- Will my children appreciate my efforts at being a good mother when they become adults?
- Why are jogging pants so wrong yet so right?
- Am I a good _____(insert: mother, wife, sister, daughter, cousin, aunt, friend, neighbour, person)?
Sometimes just asking the question gives you the answer you are looking for.
Have a great weekend.