Monthly Archives: October 2009

25 things heard around our house.

Some soundbytes from our house this week:

  1. “It’s cutie pie!  I don’t like ‘Joaquin’ or ‘Q’…his name is CUTIE PIE!” (Anytime #4 hears the baby being called ‘Joaquin’ or ‘Q,’ she corrects us with her preferred name for him: Cutie Pie.  Even if I am on the phone making a doctor’s appointment for #5, she will yell from wherever she is, “CUTIE PIE!”)
  2. #3:  “Is he going to eat baby food?”  Me:  “No, not yet.”  #3:  “Well, what does he eat then?”  (I start lifting up my shirt getting ready to nurse.)  #3: “Ohhhh!  I know now.”  (As if a light bulb has turned on in her head and has figured it out).  #3: Watermelon!
  3. “Can I hold him now?”
  4. “It’s my turn to hold him.”
  5. “How come she gets to hold him for so long?”
  6. “I never get to hold him.”
  7. “Shhh.  Indoor voice!”  Normally directed to one specific child.
  8. #4 in hysterics:  “Baby crying!  Baby crying!”
  9. “He smells sooooo good.”
  10. “This…is…my…son.” or “This is my boy.”  (Ever-Patient says in disbelief at least once a day.)
  11. The sound of a newborn cry followed by the sound of a toddler cry. (See #8.) Kinda like the sound of a purring kitten followed by nails on a chalkboard.
  12. Halloween songs and rhymes galore.
  13. “Gentle.  Gentle.  GENTLE!”
  14. “Are we crazy?”  (This question is asked by myself or Ever-Patient at least once a day.)
  15. “Did you remember to push it down?” (We are slowly learning our lesson from a few diaper fiascos.)
  16. “Mom, do you need anything?”  (#1 being #1: helpful, considerate, and thoughtful.)
  17. “Pass her to me.”  “Does she need to be changed?”  “She’s hungry again.”  (This ‘slip’ normally happens to me in the middle of the night.  I guess some habits are really hard to break.)
  18. “Mommmmmmeeeeeee! Mommmmmmmeeeeeee!”  (This is #4’s nightly 3am call from her room. This can usually be heard shortly after I put #5 back to sleep and I am just getting comfortable in bed.)
  19. “Dad, when are you going to build our kitchen?!?”  (#3 asks this question every day because we had bought them this and this so they no longer have to play with cardboard boxes and as a ‘thank you’ for being so patient and helpful this past week.  But Dad has not had the time or energy to assemble anything at the moment.)
  20. “Which pile of clothes is clean?” (We are a little behind on laundry these days.  We’ve been implementing the ‘smell test’ far too much.)
  21. “Close…Open…Close…Open…”  (Usually said in a sing-song voice by #4.)
  22. “Stop playing with his eyelids!”  (Usually yelled by me after I hear #21.)
  23. “Please! Please! Can we go see it?”  (#1, #2, and especially #3 are dying to see this.)
  24. “I love you…You love me…We’re best friends as friends should be…”  (The Barney song is sung by #4 to #5 – in surround sound type volume – as #5 tries to fall asleep.)
  25. “Hey. How’s it going?  And your name is..?”  (This is normally said between Ever-Patient and I as we pass each other in the hallway or hand off the baby or tend to different children.)
Advertisements

more pics and a birth story.

A couple of snapshots…

IMG_2160

wide awake at 1am.

IMG_2171

#4 and #5.

A birth story:

So my water broke at the mall.  Then we went to a book store and had some Starbucks.

Let me rewind to a few hours before that.

The day before, my ob-gyn told me that labour was imminent and I should be ready to deliver that night or the day after.  Considering that the hospital was about 40 minutes away (or an hour in traffic), the fact that I had quick labours with my last 3 children, and that we had 4 children that we had to make arrangements for, I thought it best to just go hang out near the hospital even though I was not having contractions consistently.  We calmly packed up everything and had the kids picked up and taken care of.

Fast forward to the book store.

After hanging out and browsing through some books I have on my must-read list, we decide to go to my in-laws house (which is close by) to nap.  We’re still moving at a snail’s pace at this point and I am still not feeling strong contractions.  At the house, I call the hospital so they can assess my situation.  They tell me to come to the hospital even though I’m not in active labour because they see on file how quick my labours have been previously.  Ever-Patient had just started to drift off to sleep when I had to tell him it was time to go.  He is now running on fumes.

When we get to the hospital, they tell me to walk around the hospital for 2 hours to help get the contractions going.  At this point, my feet hurt from the mall walking, I’m sleepy, and I feel NO contractions whatsoever.  After walking outside, inside, up and down stairs, I hear my name being called.  It’s my doctor looking for me.  She is a sight for sore eyes.

(A little background info:  My doctor has been my obstetrician for all 5 pregnancies yet she had never delivered any of the last 4.  I have had a different doctor deliver each one but each time had hoped that my doctor would be the one on-call as I went into labour.)

My doctor was on-call that night and was looking for me because she didn’t want me walking around the halls of a hospital (which is quite creepy at night) when she could “help” things along for me.  She ended up breaking the rest of my water (it had only been trickling) and after that, labour progressed pretty fast.

I decided before then that I would not have the epidural this time – not because I wanted to be a martyr but because with #4, I experienced severe migraines for a couple weeks after delivery which may have been a side effect of the epidural.  I did not want to take the chance.  With #4 being born in the summer, the kids stayed with grandparents for a week after she was born.  This time around, because all the kids are in school, they would be home and there was no way I would have been able to recover from labour, care for a newborn plus 4 others, and deal with migraines.

As the contractions got stronger, Ever-Patient and I took to the empty halls of the hospital again although this time, we stopped every 2-3 minutes for me to just lean on him, curse, and repeat my labour mantra, “This is the last one.  This is the last one.”  This intense part of labour lasted from about 11pm to 1:45am and then I was ready to push the baby out.

After another intense contraction, the nurse says, “Let’s try to push on this next contraction.”  I look at her and say, “Maybe you should call the doctor.” She says, “No, not yet.  With this push, I just want to see where you’re at.”  I give her a look as if to say “I warned you” and began to push.  She realizes what an expert I am at pushing and quickly buzzes for the doctor and tells me to just wait a second.  Yeah right.  6 minutes of pushing and the baby is out and my doctor just makes it in time for her to catch him.  (At this point, I realize that the whole labour and delivery was done in dimmed lighting with everyone fairly quiet except for some grunting on my part.)

Ever-Patient giddily cuts the cord and he follows the nurses and his brand new son to the warming station on the other side of the room.  I, on the other hand, endure the real pain  – the after birth.  As she works her “magic,” she tells me that I am now a “Grandmultip” and because of that, after pains will be more intense than ever.  Yay.  But at least I get a cool new title.

The nurses place a bare #5 on my chest.  This immediate skin-to-skin contact sealed the deal for me:  I was in love.  I was done.  Life was good.  Never again.

a fall layout.

youcanhaveyourCAKE…pt.1, originally uploaded by rozanne1.

This layout is from October 2006.

Some words of wisdom for the first born.

overwhelmed.

I am overwhelmed.

I am overwhelmed by the love I feel for all 5 of my children.

I am overwhelmed by the love and appreciation I feel for my husband.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the natural labour, a quick recovery, and a healthy baby.

I am overwhelmed by emotion each time I see my husband hold his son.

I am overwhelmed with relief when I see my girls love their new brother.

I am overwhelmed with the feeling that all I really will ever need is in this photo:

lopez_family

photo courtesy of my dad.

I am overwhelmed with thoughts of what the future holds for my little family and remind myself to enjoy every smell, every touch, and every newborn moment as this stage often flies by too fast.

I am overwhelmed with appreciation for my parents and my husband’s parents for all their help before, during, and after the delivery.  (My father picked up the kids from school, my mother stayed overnight with them and brought them to the hospital the next day and then stayed with me the 2nd night in the hospital so Ever-Patient could be with the kids, my mother-in-law and father-in-law made sure we were fed and took care of the kids our first day out of the hospital so I could nap.)

I am overwhelmed with concern for my girls and whether or not they know that I love them even though I may not be as available to them right now.

I am overwhelmed at how differently I cope with sleep deprivation now than I did 11 years ago.

I am overwhelmed by the loving thoughts, concerns, and well wishes we have received since Q’s birth.

I am overwhelmed when I hear #1 say that he is the missing puzzle piece to our family.

I am overwhelmed.

what’s new…and fall activity #6.

Look who came early…

Qbandw

More pics to follow PLUS his birth story…as for now, Mom and baby are doing great.

Fun activity preparing for Halloween:  FACE PAINTING!

Ever-Patient took #2, #3, and #4 to a fall fair on Saturday to give me a bit of a break at home.  My wonderful helper, #1, stayed behind to catch up on homework and to just be around to help mom out.  The kids came home looking like this:

#2, #3, #4 getting in the mood for Halloween...

#2, #3, #4 getting in the mood for Halloween...

#2 is a rocket ship.  #3 is a ladybug (or Darth Maul).  #4 did have a baby ladybug painted on her cheek for a brief moment.

After they washed off their makeup, they were excited to paint their faces again but with different characters in mind.  A perfect activity to get in the halloween mode.  Some cheap halloween makeup and a little imagination and the kids are in heaven.

Hope you had a great weekend!

looking back.

Here is an old layout I did shortly after I had #4.  As I feel #5’s arrival approaching quickly, it’s nice to take a look back to see where I was emotionally after having getting used to life with 4 kids…

title:  "i see right through you"

title: "i see right through you"...#4 is missing in the photos...

It was chaotic…and still is…but I can’t imagine my life any other way.

my current headspace.

There are periods in my life when I become obsessed with the concept of getting ‘caught up.’  As if this ultimate grand achievement would resolve my feelings of worry, anxiety, and a cluttered mind.  I need to catch up on laundry, cleaning, organizing, writing in my journal, and just catching up with friends I haven’t seen in awhile.

Then here’s what happens.  I get caught up.  I get caught up in my silly worries, get lost in my narrow-minded track of completing the absolute must-do’s as if this were a life and death situation.  Then the vicious downward spiral begins.  I get caught up in my thoughts of getting caught up.  At this point, in an incredible futile attempt to get caught up, I tend to over-commit myself and our family, pushing myself past my physical and psychological capacities.

Today, as I watch the kids/Ever-Patient/myself continue to bring ‘stuff’ into our home, and as I run around the house like a whirlwind throwing things out and tidying, I come to the conclusion that no one can possibly be completely caught up with all they want to accomplish – especially if you’re constantly looking for what appears to be an attainable mountaintop of achievement where you can reside forever.  It doesn’t work that way.  Life is a continuous process, perpetually unfolding whether we like it or not.  There is no “pause” button to press when you need a minute to catch your breath.

As we prepare for the baby’s arrival, I find that I keep second-guessing myself.  Am I really prepared?  What am I forgetting?  How can I possibly get everything done beforehand?  If I can’t get it together now, am I really going to be able to be productive once the baby is here? and so on and so on and so on…  This over-thinking and constant analysis sometimes lasts all night and in the end, I probably could have completed a few tasks in that time rather than succumb to overwhelming thoughts of falling behind some mythical standard that I am always struggling to meet.

Eventually, I recognize how inefficient and self-destructive this thinking can be…sometimes, it takes a little longer than usual but I have learned what can trigger it and how to slowly change this type of thinking.

Here are some things I do to pull myself out of the “catching up” funk:

  • Focus on one task at a time. For example, instead of having the lofty goal of cleaning the entire kitchen, top to bottom, I will simply say to myself: “Just load the dishwasher.”  Normally, this will lead to clearing the counters, cleaning the sink, cleaning the floors, etc.  Or sometimes, I just load the dishwasher.  Either way, something gets done.  Just doing one thing at a time prevents the paralysis that can occur if you have too many things floating around in your head.
  • Take a deep breath. This stops the crazy thinking for an instant which may be enough to just create enough space for you to realize how your thinking is getting out of control.  Awareness is the first step to changing it.
  • Be grateful. Instead of dwelling on all the things that need to get done, be appreciative of the things you’ve conquered – even if they are small victories like clearing the table, putting a load of laundry in the dryer, or even picking up that used tissue that has been on the floor by the garbage for the last couple of days that no one seems to see but you.
  • Embrace the journey and not the destination. Being mindful in the act of doing calms the needless worrying.  Accept that living in the future (“If I just had more time…”  “If I just had more money…”  “If I was just caught up with…”) will not bring happiness.  With children, you’ll notice the joy they have in the process of painting.  When they’re done, they are not attached to the final product and really just want to keep painting and creating.

We may not get all the laundry done or re-organize the kids’ rooms or keep the kitchen clean before this baby arrives.  At the end of day, if my family is healthy and happy, I have every faith that this is exactly where I am supposed to be right now.