Q at 3 months:
To my big boy:
These last couple of months have blown by much like the rest of life these days. You currently weigh almost 15lbs and are wearing 6-12 months sized clothing. The biggest difference between now and a month ago is that you have definitely lost your novelty around here. Your sisters don’t run to greet you when they get home from school, they don’t fuss over you when you cry (in fact, they have mastered the art of completely tuning you out), they cringe and hold their noses at diaper changes looking away now instead of being fascinated with how “different” boys are. In fact, the only time they are interested in playing with you is when you are sleeping and they will squeeze your cheeks, pick your nose, and kiss your head endlessly until you wake up screaming. But they love you. How do I know this? The odd time you are not strapped to me or are in my arms, they inquire nonchalantly about your whereabouts. They rock you (though sometimes too violently) in your car seat when you cry. Most of the time, when you are sleeping, they whisper and try not to play with the toys that make noise. They proudly say “This is my brother” to strangers on the street.
Of course, the novelty has not worn off for your father or myself. Although we’ve already experienced this stage of baby 4 times already, we still get excited when you reach all the mini milestones. You now coo and smile anytime someone talks to you or smiles at you…especially if it’s a woman. You especially love it when someone claps your hands together (or makes you do the macarena). You have finally gotten into a routine with sleep at night. I can read every cry that you make and discern whether it’s hunger, exhaustion, dirty diaper, or if you just need to be held and whispered to. But, the best part is “the gaze.” This is what your father calls it when you just stare at me. More often than not, even if you are in your father’s arms, you will scan the room for me and “gaze.” When I am feeding you, you will stop intermittently and “gaze” up at me. This for me is the biggest change I have noticed in the last few months. You have transitioned from an infant newborn just trying to survive through nursing, sleeping, and pooping to a baby who recognizes his mother – and not just as a person who is there to supply the milk. When you look up at me and stare, I look into your eyes and melt because there is a sense of recognition in your eyes that I have been waiting to see. It is something that I failed to appreciate with your sisters. The moment I became YOUR “mama.” In my mind, I was always your mama from the moment I knew of your existence. But now, YOU know it too.
We love you,
A highlight moment of the last 3 months:
Me to #3 and #4 in a stern whisper: “Your brother is asleep on the couch. Do not speak and wake him up. I have to go to the bathroom. I will be right back!”
Upstairs, just as I am finishing up, I hear the baby screaming.
I run downstairs only to witness in horror #3 and #4 jumping on the very couch where their brother is laying 2 feet away. Oh, my heart.
Me: “What are you doing?”
#3 whispers: “We haven’t said a word!”
And then she proceeds to make the motion of zipping up her lips and throwing away the key.
Note to self: Be more specific.